Nancy B. Hupp

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Avoid Sexist Language

March 8, 2010 by Nancy Hupp Leave a Comment

This was originally posted on the Minnesota State Bar Association’s blog. 

My most stunning and irrevocable gender reference occurred when I tried to make a friend after getting settled in my college dorm room. I strolled into the adjoining room, introduced myself to Deb, the occupant, then, in an effort to make conversation, glanced at a picture on her bulletin board, pointed and said, “Is that your Mom? She looks like you.” To which the Deb replied, “No, it is a picture of my Dad.”

Oops. No calling that back. But in writing, it is much easier to avoid such gaffes.

Take two minutes and learn ways to employ gender-neutral language or, in the negative, to eliminate sexist language. Whatever the label, the problem is easy to spot. You are typing along and you refer to he, him, his, she, her, hers or alternating between them because the subject is reliably neither.

Example: An attorney must keep a record of his continuing education credits.

The worst solution is to overdo it with a slash-i-fi-cation–always strikes me that the writer is trying too hard. Also the his/her causes a blip in the flow of the text. The reader stumbles.

An attorney must keep a record of his/her continuing education credits.

 

A similar but different bad solution is to alternate back and forth–too much effort and downright confusing for the reader.

An attorney must keep a record of his continuing education credits.  In Minnesota, an attorney needs to file her record with the licensing agency.

 

Another bad solution–to go stuffy.

One must keep a record of one’s continuing education credits.

 

Somewhat better, same idea, but can be a little chummy.

You must keep a record of your continuing education credits.

 

Okay, enough with the bad solutions. Here are some good easy ones:

Pluralize–works in the vast majority of situations.

Attorneys must keep a record of their continuing education credits.

Delete the offending pronoun entirely.

An attorney must review the work of his paralegal.
Instead: An attorney must review the work of a paralegal.

Get repetitive.

Before a law school graduate can practice law, he must pass the bar examination.
Instead: Before a law school graduate can practice law, the graduate must pass the bar examination.

 

Enough of this, you get the idea. I will step off my soapbox soon but first let me add a few last ideas while on the topic of unnecessary reference to gender…

Watch out for sexist expressions.

gentlemen’s agreement
a manly effort

Strive for gender-neutral terms.

mail carrier
not mailman

Use parallel construction.

husband and wife
not man and wife

Avoid unnecessary gender references.

competent attorney
not competent woman attorney

 

The world is full of those who are insensitive and those who are too sensitive. Avoid being the former and failing to assume your reader is the latter. Gender-neutral writing is easy, make it a habit, make friends. Remember Deb, the dorm room occupant, never became my friend. Oh, how I wish I said, “Is that your parent?”

Filed Under: Off the Clock, Writing Tips Tagged With: Gender, Sexism

Less Wordiness, More Punch

November 30, 2009 by Nancy Hupp Leave a Comment

This was originally posted on the Minnesota State Bar Association’s blog. 

Imagine hunkering down with a hotdog and a beer in the new Twins stadium next summer and hearing the ump yell, “BEGIN THE PLAYING OF BASEBALL BY THROWING THE BALL.” Hmmm. Doesn’t quite have the same punch as “PLAY BALL” does it?

Why? Well one reason is that the ump used “play” as a verb. In my initial version, I added –ing.  Presto, the verb “play” morphed into a noun and the sentence got longer. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Featured, Off the Clock, Writing Tips Tagged With: Wordiness

My Approach

Effective communication happens when those who know a subject partner with those who know how to reach a reader. Few have the time and expertise to wear both hats effectively.

I wear the second hat, making sure the information you want to convey is well written — logically organized, precise, succinct, consistent, and engaging.

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Nancy Hupp has the gift of writing about complex subjects with great clarity, as well as writing about simple subjects and making them memorable. Nancy writes in a strong and winning ‘voice’. That voice, combined with her excellent technical skills, makes her work, and will make your project, both distinctive and a pleasure to read.
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Nancy Hupp’s most enviable talent isn’t just an ability to write well, but an ability to write prolifically and compellingly in a demanding and often ambiguous environment. Her dedication to creating great work under any circumstances allowed her to produce some amazing content for Project CAP — including some of the most engaging concepts and mind-grabbing opening paragraphs I’ve ever read. My only regret is that her time with us was far too short.
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Michelle CockerDirector, Financial Systems GovernanceArcher Daniels Midland Company
I have had the pleasure working with Nancy Hupp in various capacities over the past decade. Most recently, Nancy was my colleague at the Minnesota Bar Association where she directed practicelaw.org. Her organizational and writing skills are superb and they kept the website and its resources current and relevant.
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