Nancy B. Hupp

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Avoid Sexist Language

March 8, 2010 by Nancy Hupp Leave a Comment

This was originally posted on the Minnesota State Bar Association’s blog. 

My most stunning and irrevocable gender reference occurred when I tried to make a friend after getting settled in my college dorm room. I strolled into the adjoining room, introduced myself to Deb, the occupant, then, in an effort to make conversation, glanced at a picture on her bulletin board, pointed and said, “Is that your Mom? She looks like you.” To which the Deb replied, “No, it is a picture of my Dad.”

Oops. No calling that back. But in writing, it is much easier to avoid such gaffes.

Take two minutes and learn ways to employ gender-neutral language or, in the negative, to eliminate sexist language. Whatever the label, the problem is easy to spot. You are typing along and you refer to he, him, his, she, her, hers or alternating between them because the subject is reliably neither.

Example: An attorney must keep a record of his continuing education credits.

The worst solution is to overdo it with a slash-i-fi-cation–always strikes me that the writer is trying too hard. Also the his/her causes a blip in the flow of the text. The reader stumbles.

An attorney must keep a record of his/her continuing education credits.

 

A similar but different bad solution is to alternate back and forth–too much effort and downright confusing for the reader.

An attorney must keep a record of his continuing education credits.  In Minnesota, an attorney needs to file her record with the licensing agency.

 

Another bad solution–to go stuffy.

One must keep a record of one’s continuing education credits.

 

Somewhat better, same idea, but can be a little chummy.

You must keep a record of your continuing education credits.

 

Okay, enough with the bad solutions. Here are some good easy ones:

Pluralize–works in the vast majority of situations.

Attorneys must keep a record of their continuing education credits.

Delete the offending pronoun entirely.

An attorney must review the work of his paralegal.
Instead: An attorney must review the work of a paralegal.

Get repetitive.

Before a law school graduate can practice law, he must pass the bar examination.
Instead: Before a law school graduate can practice law, the graduate must pass the bar examination.

 

Enough of this, you get the idea. I will step off my soapbox soon but first let me add a few last ideas while on the topic of unnecessary reference to gender…

Watch out for sexist expressions.

gentlemen’s agreement
a manly effort

Strive for gender-neutral terms.

mail carrier
not mailman

Use parallel construction.

husband and wife
not man and wife

Avoid unnecessary gender references.

competent attorney
not competent woman attorney

 

The world is full of those who are insensitive and those who are too sensitive. Avoid being the former and failing to assume your reader is the latter. Gender-neutral writing is easy, make it a habit, make friends. Remember Deb, the dorm room occupant, never became my friend. Oh, how I wish I said, “Is that your parent?”

Filed Under: Off the Clock, Writing Tips Tagged With: Gender, Sexism

Less Wordiness, More Punch

November 30, 2009 by Nancy Hupp Leave a Comment

This was originally posted on the Minnesota State Bar Association’s blog. 

Imagine hunkering down with a hotdog and a beer in the new Twins stadium next summer and hearing the ump yell, “BEGIN THE PLAYING OF BASEBALL BY THROWING THE BALL.” Hmmm. Doesn’t quite have the same punch as “PLAY BALL” does it?

Why? Well one reason is that the ump used “play” as a verb. In my initial version, I added –ing.  Presto, the verb “play” morphed into a noun and the sentence got longer. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Featured, Off the Clock, Writing Tips Tagged With: Wordiness

My Approach

Effective communication happens when those who know a subject partner with those who know how to reach a reader. Few have the time and expertise to wear both hats effectively.

I wear the second hat, making sure the information you want to convey is well written — logically organized, precise, succinct, consistent, and engaging.

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Nancy was able to learn our project needs quickly and synthesize down a number of documents for us. Her best asset is her ability to take lengthy, wordy documents and boil them down in simple, easy to read paragraphs. She is really great at taking a concept and giving you a simple way to describe it or an easy way to read. Furthermore, I appreciated her honest input and straightforward feedback.
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I have had the pleasure working with Nancy Hupp in various capacities over the past decade. Most recently, Nancy was my colleague at the Minnesota Bar Association where she directed practicelaw.org. Her organizational and writing skills are superb and they kept the website and its resources current and relevant.
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As a writer and editor myself, I know the value of a second pair of eyes. I’ve hired Nancy to improve my articles, blog posts and CLE materials. Nancy consistently delivers a great edit that catches mistakes, asks great questions and adds creative ideas — helping me to elevate my game. She’s fast, smart and great to work with, and I will definitely hire her again.
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Mike PetersonPresidentInurance Marketing Partners
Nancy and I worked together at Project CAP where she reported to me. I could always count on Nancy to deliver well written and creative content while meeting demanding deadlines. She is willing to go above and beyond to complete a project and her legal background proved to be an asset as she drafted several contracts for our group. Nancy is a talented and hardworking employee.
Melanie WallworkMarketing Project ManagerLexli International, Inc
Nancy Hupp has that rare combination of a full understanding of subject area and the ability to translate the essentials for a lay audience. Her skill as a writer enables her to convey that essence to readers. Nancy’s sense of humor is a bonus. Her use of examples and analogies make her writing informative and entertaining. Another bonus: Nancy is a delight to work with.
Pat EverheartWriter & EditorYellow Rock Media
I am the Executive Director of the Minnesota State Bar Association, and am writing to recommend Nancy Hupp who worked at the Minnesota State Bar Association for approximately seven years. She began as an editor and was later promoted to director of one of our most popular online services. Nancy was a valuable employee who contributed to the growth of our resources and established processes for the design and review of the forms we provide to members. She is/was an bright, analytical, and percept… Read more
Tim Groshens(former) Executive DirectorMinnesota State Bar Association
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